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Deetfin Reviews

Here we provide movie reviews, DVD reviews, and any other Review we damn well please!

August by Billy_Elliot
Theatrical Release: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra:

Those of us that are old enough, we remember those action figures that used to be oh-so popular years ago. Let’s just say Hasbro should have stuck with that. I kind of expected the movie to be something like Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, I was right. It was just explosions, lasers, bombs and violence for an hour and a half. Now of course, these types of movies are entertaining for the kid inside you…but not much else. The movie was about an elite task force of the world’s strongest fighters. Let’s just stop right there for a moment. Wasn’t the whole point of G.I. Joe that he was an AMERICAN hero? I’m by no means prejudice to other countries; I was just a little bit unsettled with the whole basis of the origin of the characters being altered. Anyways, the “Joes” are given the mission to counter “nanomites,” a substance that disintegrates people, buildings, and any other object for that matter. This substance was created by the hand of McCullen, a deformed mad scientist. McCullen steals the weapons back from the people he originally sold it to because his Scottish clan was insulted hundreds of years ago…talk about a grudge? So McCullen deploys 4 nano-missiles at 4 of the world’s capitals. One is aimed at Moscow, one at Washington D.C., one gets destroyed, and the final one is never really found…throughout the rest of the movie. So, the group named Cobra (the bad guys) apparently don’t have any demands…they’re just pissed off and bent on reeking havoc on the world…how original. So another part that kind of frustrated me: Cobra’s base is located in Antarctica miles underground, the Joes were in a submarine and then an ice cap is blown up intending to sink the submarine. I’m no chemist, but doesn’t ice float? Call me crazy. Anyways, I don’t want to ruin the plot for the rest of it. The one good thing is the animation was pretty good, but I swear it reminds me so much of transformers with all of the explosions and meaningless violence. The plot was by no means anything that a fifth grader couldn’t create, but if you like the bang-bang-boom just for the graphics, go ahead and see it.

Rating: Two Nerps:

DVD Release: The Unborn:

If you have read the last review I posted, I mentioned my love of scary movies. This was not the best movie scary movie by any means. It was actually pretty predictable after 20 minutes, you’d understand why if you’d watch it. The story is of a teenage girl who is continually haunted by a young boy throughout the movie. He keeps repeating, “Jumby wants to be born now.” This kind of reminded me of Redrum from the good old days of The Shining, so it made me giggle. So the girl, Casey Beldon finds out about a twin of hers that was killed at childbirth. Another important plot detail is that Casey’s mother left her and her father when she was a child, and now Casey is discovering why. She continues her search for answers and how to get rid of this spirit, and stumbles upon a woman who, as we find out, happens to be her grandmother. She explains the history of the spirit, dating all the way back to Nazi Germany, and how he has haunted her entire family ever since. The only chance to get rid of the spirit is with the help of a rabbi, Sendak. Will she be able to rid herself of the demon before it grows strong enough to become real? Watch and find out. It wasn’t a terrible movie; the scare factor was pretty legitimate most of the time. I didn’t ever understand the significance of the bugs that also haunted her continually, or how another little boy was somehow connected with this spirit too. Now it did seem a little cheesy sometime, and as I stated before, quite predictable, it’s still a movie that’s worth watching once.

Rating: Three Nerps:

Any complaints, comments, questions, praises? Let us know about them on the Deetfin forums or leave us a comment.

-Billy Elliot

July From Billy_Elliot
At the end of each month, I am going to attempt to write a review on a popular theatrical movie release, and a DVD release . This month I am reviewing:

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince:

I am a huge Harry Potter fan myself, I read all the books a million times, memorized all of the previous movies etc. This movie became my least favorite of all of the prior movies, in my opinion. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoyed the movie the two times that I’ve seen it, but I don’t think this is a movie that I would enjoy watching again. The biggest issue I have with it resides in the plot. The movie seemed to focus too much on the teenage “lovey-dovey” aspect, instead of some of the other things I felt were important…like explaining why the half-blood prince is the man he is. I thought they would have flashbacks revealing the story of the half-blood prince. Instead, all we get is the character saying in the end, “I am the half-blood prince,” before strolling away. Who knows, maybe they will reveal the story in the next movie. They have alot of extra time to dispose of since it was decided the final installment will be divided into two movies. Back to the movie… The one other detail that was not in the movie was apparating. So I’m curious on how this problem will be fixed in the next movie, its a rather large part of the last book. I really did enjoy watching this movie the first time, and I was fond of the new scene, but I am trying my hardest not to give any spoilers. The acting and the special effects were the most impressive features of the movie. I don’t know what it was, but the 5 minutes after the climax of the movie actually got me pretty emotional. So I say, go see this movie once, but don’t waste your money on seeing it a second or third time in theatres.

Three stars: ***

DVD release:

The Hunting in Connecticut:

I love watching scary movies, and I have been dissapointed in many of the big ones that recently came out: The Strangers, Drag Me To Hell,and The Haunting of Molly Hartley. This was by far the best horror film I’ve seen all year. It seems as though it is a knockoff of the 2005 movie Amityville Horror, but its a fantasic movie. Even from the title, I thought, “Now how the heck could anything be the least bit haunting in Connecticut?” The only major criticism I would make about the movie is that it makes you jump…a little too much. Now, I understand, horror movies are supposed to scare you, right? Well, I agree with this, but it seemed like an instance where someone comes up and yells in your ear when you’re sitting down in a quiet setting, entertaining at first, but the 100th time its just annoying. Anyways, the movie had good actors, a devent plot, good special effects, and it kept my interest the whole time. I recommend it for any movie goer who just wants to watch a movie to get their adrenaline pumping. However, rent it, it’s not something you’ll enjoy more than a couple times.

4 Stars: ****

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